I Need Some Motivation

I have a whole year left and things seem to be wearing on my fast. I don't need to make a list of my problems. I'm sure you can google them. Writing about them will just make me dwell on them more. What I need is a coping strategy. Zenme ban? 
Maybe I've just been here so long and tried to integrate so much that I regard China as my home and just like my own home, so many things bother me about it but as it is not my culture, these things eat at me even further. Integrating for me just hasn't worked. I speak enough Chinese but people take one look at my face and think English is coming out of my mouth and they can't possibly understand me. The dirtiness still really grosses me out.I have fits of anger and moments of plain western liberalism that flat out embarrass my friends.
What appeals to me about the culture the most is the value of friendship. When they make friends, they are friends for life. None of this western, fluid, it must be convenient crap. The problem is dishonesty. I can't handle being lied to. This gift from my mother is both a blessing and a burden. I like the friends I've made in China and I would very much like to keep them in my life as so many of my American friends have disappeared but the lying makes me want to push them away. I don't blame them of course nor do I blame anyone else. The culture created itself. It just might be to difficult for me to face. I don't ask myself "why they do it?" enough. I should. So, why do they do it?
To save face. That's why they lie. The are protecting everyone from conflict. Harmony. Or maybe they lie to get your money. It's easy to lie and there are no consequences. If a lie came out of my mouth, even at the age of two, my mother would quickly fix it wither her, seemingly fair, punishment of cleaning it with soap. To save face you would even lie to friends? I though friends in China were supposed to be honest with each other, tell you when you're getting fat or when your clothes are ugly. Why not just always tell the truth then? They're not big lies. They little. Maybe because I never lie I don't know how to see them like the Chinese do. They know each other is lying. They don't have to tell the truth because they know they know.
How can I fix this? Should I be more skeptical? Should I just not care? Maybe I should stop trying to integrate. It isn't really working anyways. Who am I supposed to integrate with? The students are my age but they are my students. I would do more with them but it would meet disapproving eyes. The teachers are too old. Stuck. So be an American again? Not what I can to China to do.